I keep wondering what should I follow as a guidance. What should I look upon. What is my 'north star'. I am never sure if one thing is good for me while another is not. I am not even sure if something is real. Have you ever wonder why do you exist in the first place? Why God sent you here? To what purpose?
Sometimes I feel like I'm not capable of doing a lot of things. Like if I am gone, does anyone will care? Does anyone will even notice? Is there even one thing they will remember me of? One thing that makes me matter in their lives?
Deep breaths...
deep breaths...
With asterism's little dipper playing in my earphone, I am writing this realizing my position in the universe. Me. One tiny dot in a million other dots walking around non stop as if the world keeps spinning and not stopping even for a millisecond to catch a breath. To rest.
The world is so big yet how small you are in it. How insignificant. The world is not always about you. They have other things to do, and it is not always about you.
Looking back when I was a kid, I used to dream of going to a Disneyland. Or to become a nurse, or a doctor. I thought that that's how I can find happiness. Now that I am older, my dream starts becoming more... unsophisticated.
I have been dreaming of breathing in the warmth of the ocean breeze on the seashore, or the smell of grass on the top of a mountain, facing the sunshine. I am dreaming to find my solitude. To find peace. To find stability. I think that these are my north star. I think I have finally found it.
