"Dream"

by Cinderella

A dream is a wish your heart makes

When you are fast asleep

In dreams you will lose your heartaches

Whatever you wish for, you keep

Have faith in your dreams and someday

Your rainbow will come smiling through

No matter how your heart is grieving

If you keep on believing

The dream that you wish will come true

there are people that do

“You passed the test, huh? Thank God.”
“Have you eaten?”
“You look healthy.”
“What would you like to eat?”
“Keep it up!”
“Hey I made you some fries and onion rings.”
“Don’t forget to eat!”
“Here a box of danishes for your breakfast tomorrow.”
“How’s your day?”
“Keep the change.”
“I like your hair!”
“Have a good one!”
“Thank YOU.”
“We shall pass this together.”
“Eat your vitamins, and keep yourself hydrated.”
“Mask on!”
“Congratulations! You’re amazing.”
“Take off your mask and get some oxygen back there.”
“Can’t wait to see you soon!”
“It’s alright, don’t think about it.”
“Let me help.”
“Stay safe!”

are words I received lately.

I was too busy wondering why some people do not care of me, while not realizing how many people that actually do.

"Hanya"

oleh Sapardi Djoko Damono

Hanya suara burung yang kaudengar
dan tak pernah kaulihat burung itu
tapi tahu burung itu ada di sana

Hanya desir angin yang kaurasa
dan tak pernah kaulihat angin itu
tapi percaya angin itu di sekitarmu

Hanya doaku yang bergetar malam ini
dan tak pernah kaulihat siapa aku
tapi yakin aku ada dalam dirimu

2020

2020 has been the toughest year for all of us indeed
yet it is also one of the best years I’ve ever been in.

I learn new things.
I see true colors.
I spend time for myself more than I used to.
I see beauty within me and the important humans around me.

Most people wish to have this year ended sooner
Some of them wish to have it skipped over

I, wish to walk in it longer...

"Corner of the World"

by Courtney Peppernell

There is a place I called home

and sometimes it feels like a quite little corner of the world

It is where I live and breathe

and scrawl my feelings on pages

It is where I cry and let down my walls 

on the days I’ve come up empty

and all I do is fall

This corner, filled with comfort and the ones I love

Filled with friendship and ideas always churning

a fire always burning

Each time I venture from this place to board planes 

and take roads I never dreamed possible

All I have to do is close my eyes

and think how safe I feel when I’m here

The light is always on

The kettle always warm

A dog always asleep at my feet

This corner of the world where I never feel alone

It is my home

Time-off

Dear God,

I need a time-off.
As a human.



Would you make me a butterfly?

"Self Dependence vs. Self Love"

by Esther Perel & Matthew Hussey

Make the distinction between self dependence and self love
(especially during this COVID-19 pandemic).

Just because you're on your own
it doesn't mean that you should not reaching out to other people
and forming, and nurturing extremely important relationships during this time
cause you will need them.



How someone running a bath for themselves
cooking a nice dinner for themselves
lighting a candle and eating dinner on their own

A lot of people look at that as like
"That's me loving ME"

No, that's self dependence
That's knowing you can count on yourself
A form of self-reliance.

That's not the same as self love.



Self love is the ability to perceive ourselves with an acceptance
Self love is the ability to look back on a life full of mistake
and regrets
and to be able to let go of those things
and make peace with ourselves
and not beat ourselves up, not bullying, not cajole
not constantly make ourselves feel less
than to truly look at ourselves
the raggedy old bear that we are marked up
and scared
and weathered up by the events of our lives
and say
"I like this bear, this is my bear, it's a good bear,
I'm happy with it, I wouldn't exchange it for any other bear."

That is self love.

And self love, is not mutually exclusive from connecting with other people
What we have to do is to be self dependent during this time, if we are alone
But form connections with other people that help us to survive
and that can only come from us picking up the phone
talking to people
reaching out to other people
being the help for other people we want ourselves
engendering a sense of reciprocity that
those people will also then be thinking of us.

Human

People do, come an go. People do, change.

Sometimes, it is hard for me to absorb, how could things happen.
What makes people decide to do certain things.
What makes them change their minds.

They say, "people don't change", that's true. But in some cases, they do.
Not because they're parents or friends begged them to.
Not because of other people forced them to.
But ONLY because they wanted to.

I sometimes wish that I could read minds, that would be cool.
I don't have to ask them of what was happening when they're laughing, or crying.
I don't have to wonder if they're in the mood of having a conversation.
I don't have to wonder what topic should I discuss on a small talk,
or maybe I don't even have to have one, because I know what's in their thoughts already.
I don’t have to ask them how they feel about me.
I don't have to question them why they leave.

How could some people be straightforward to others?
That would be easier if I could act that way, to just let my heart out every time I need to.
But I don't think that's how I work.
I need to think before I speak,
or act.
I need, time. To digest. To think.

Some people might never intended to do or act a certain way.
No matter how bad or good it is.
Some people might be in a middle of an uncomfortable situation.
Some people might be working under pressure.
Some people might be struggling with things.
Some people might be having a hard time.
Only God knows.

We're human.
We interact.
We think.
We solve things.
We do small talk, whether we like it or not.
We struggle.
We pray.
We emphatize.

For me, that's what makes human, Human.